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MG MGA - Message fro Glenn

Hi folks. It has been just over 6 months since my wife Jennifer was killed in a car accident and my sister severely injured. I wish I coud say that things are going well, but they are not. My sister sustained a serious brain injury, and she is a completely different person that before the accident, and I no longer recognize the sweet caring person that she was.. She had many broken bones, and some have not healed properly. She will require extensive surgery, and is in excruciating pain, even with extremely potent morphine derivatives. I am not coping well with Jennifer's death or my sister's serious injures. Normal grief counselling is not working for me, and I am looking into traumatic loss counselling which I hear is better. I just wanted everyone on the BBS to know that I am still around, but havent had the time or heart to do anything MG related since the tragedy. sadly, Glenn
Glenn Hedrich

Dear Glenn. It is good to hear from you. I am sorry that the loss has been so powerful. The Edda tells us that, "Men die, cattle die, only the Sagas of Heros live forever". All of us begin dieing from the moment we are born. Your wife is fortunate to have made such a strong bonding with you that you feel such a loss for such a long period of time. She must have been a very strong woman.

But, she would not want you to be this upset, nor would she want you to experience this level of pain. A love like the two of you seem to have had does not require that one feel an overpowering loss. In point of fact, it requires exactly the opposite. When my father died, there was a sense of loss. That sense of loss was mitigated by the fact that I went out into his workshop, packaged up all of his tools, the ones he and I had used on various projects together, and shipped them home. Most of them I kept. Some, when my older daughter and her husband bought their first house together, went to them. Theresa knows which were her grandfather's tools. When she uses them, she and her grandfather are working on her MG together. Today, as I assembled an engine, my father and I worked on it together--I used his tools when possible.

Your sister needs your love and support. You need to be strong to provide this.

Might I suggest that you write a poem about your loss? Then, post it here for your friends to read. Then, put it behind you. There are many of us who need you to be whole and your sister is the most important of them. But, us "less importants" miss you also. Spill our your grief in a poem and rebuild your life so that all of us can enjoy it with you.

Les
Les Bengtson

Glenn, Good to hear from you again and so sorry that your feelings are still very raw. I lost my sister last year and it is only now, eight months later, that I have had the stomach to begin doing anything on my car. I was surprised at the effects of a close bereavement on one's frame of mind. Time will, of course, be the healer but getting there is a painful journey. Keep up with the messages as they will almost certainly help as we are all rooting for you. Cheers mike
m.j. moore

Hi Glenn, Good to hear from you even though the news is not good. Just feeling up to putting the message means that the pain is starting to heal, even if slowly. We are all praying for you and your sister and I hope that the next 6 months brings more relief from your grief - all the best Cam
Cam Cunningham

Glenn, we've only one life, you still have yours.Do send us more stuff on these silly little cars. It'll be good for you , and good for us. Bob Prentice
rsa prentice

Glen, We're very, very sorry for your loss and your current situation. I cannot imagine what you're going through. Things will get better for you. It'll take a lot of time and work. I'm was so glad to see your message on the BBS. You have my continuing prayers.
Jerry Murphy

Dear Glenn,
It's good to hear from you again, and I'm very sorry about your loss.

Speaking from personal experience, head injuries take a long time to heal and it can become very difficult for the victim's friends and relations. In many ways it is harder for them. Your sister needs love and support from you and you need to be very patient.

All the best

dan
Dan Smithers

Glenn

My thoughts have been with you throughout the winter, ever since you first posted your tragic news.

Chin up mate. We are all routing for you.

Steve
Steve Gyles

Hang tight Glenn,
Life is difficult and time will heal the pain but memories will last forever. May God watch over your sister and bless her. Gordon
Gordon Harrison

Glenn, I have come very very close to losing, I love so very much in the last few months. I think we have been lucky and everything is improving, hopefully it will continue.
Everyday I ask myself the question how could I live if the very worst happened? I can not answer that question! But if it does I hope you will then be able to tell me how to get through it.

You are in my thoughts and I wish you all the best, I can do no more.
Bob (robert) Midget Turbo

Glenn, we were all deeply saddened by your loss. If our support here on the BB is of any help please don't hesitate to visit us and let us know what we can do.
Bill Young

Glenn,
Like everyone else on this board, I cannot feel your loss as you do, but can sympathise and in some cases empathise with you. I know the difficulties of losing somebody close to me, and know that it is very difficult.
While I also pray for your sister and you to overcome this, I pray that God will be with you and show Himself to you with comfort. Know also that your sister will have a long healing, and while it is difficult and sometimes be quite a trial, she needs you and she needs you strong. If you have difficulty being strong, lean on God, as He will give you strength.
If you are fortunate enough to be near a good Bible Church, check into griefshare meetings.
I will also keep you in prayer.
Take care.
Mike Parker
mike parker

I'm so sorry to hear of your wife's death and your sister's injury. I can probably relate more to your sister as after an accident I became a chronic pain person. I know I am certainly not the person I used to be and I didn't sustain a head injury. There is no way to ever explain how totally debilitating, mentally and physically exhausting and overwhelming pain is when it's present 24/7. It's never gone, never will be, always and forever there. You'd like to sleep but can't for the pain and if you did sleep for more than just a brief time you wake up screaming from the pain because you've been in 1 position for maybe an hour. Oh yeah, I can relate to your sister. But then not only do you have her needs but you have the more devastating loss of your life's partner. I truly feel for you Glenn.

Like everyone else I'm here for you and would help in anyway possible.

Jackie
Jacqueline Peabody

Hi folks. Thanks to everyone on this BBS for being so supportive, your caring is appreciated. I am told that I am suffering from medical conditions called traumatic loss, and post traumatic stress disorder, which essentially render me incapable of adequately coping with or functioning "normally" in my situation. I am hoping that the traumatic loss expert can help. I probably wont be posting much, if at all, until I am feeling better.. Thanks again for all the support. Cheers, GLenn
Glenn Hedrich

You will have both good and bad days. As time passes there will be a shift toward more good and less bad. Even when the bad days are mostly behind you there will be things that bring it all back in a rush of emotion. These are the type of thing that we must go through to put them behind. There is no way around. Some try to avoid or numb the pain with denial or drugs. Either just prolongs the process.
My son died 17 months ago and normally it doesn't crush me anymore. Today a girl he knew in school heard about his death and called me. As I answered her questions and listened to her cry it all came back. These mine fields in our lives will always be there around some unknown turn. Feel the grief remember the love and live on. For me my faith in God helps me deal.
Though it hurts to write these thing I know it helps me. I think I will now rivet the rubber edge pieces to the inner fender panels on "Rusty's coupe"
Best to you Glenn
Randy
R J Brown

Hi Randy. Thanks for your kind words. I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your son! Having chldren of my own, I cant image how horrible losing a child would be! May time and faith heal your sorrow and pain. Glenn
Glenn Hedrich

This thread was discussed between 16/02/2008 and 22/02/2008

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