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MG TD TF 1500 - Lucas smoke therory

Stolen from another board....



ELECTRICAL THEORY BY JOSEPH LUCAS



Positive ground depends on proper circuit functioning, which is the transmission of negative ions by retention of the visible spectral manifestation known as "smoke". Smoke is the thing that makes electrical circuits work. We know this to be true because every time one lets the smoke out of an electrical circuit, it stops working. This can be verified repeatedly through empirical testing.



For example, if one places a copper bar across the terminals of a battery, prodigious quantities of smoke are liberated and the battery shortly ceases to function. In addition, if one observes smoke escaping from an electrical component such as a Lucas voltage regulator, it will also be observed that the component no longer functions. The logic is elementary and inescapable!



The function of the wiring harness is to conduct the smoke from one device to another. When the wiring springs a leak and lets all the smoke out of the system, nothing works afterward. Starter motors were considered unsuitable for British motorcycles for some time largely because they consumed large quantities of smoke, requiring very unsightly large wires.



It has been reported that Lucas electrical components are possibly more prone to electrical leakage than their Bosch, Japanese or American counterparts. Experts point out that this is because Lucas is British, and all things British leak. British engines leak oil, British shock absorbers, hydraulic forks and disk brake systems leak fluid, British tires leak air and British Intelligence leaks national defense secrets.

Therefore, it follows that British electrical systems must leak smoke.

Once again, the logic is clear and inescapable.



In conclusion, the basic concept of transmission of electrical energy in the form of smoke provides a logical explanation of the mysteries of electrical components especially British units manufactured by Joseph

Lucas, Ltd.



And remember: "A gentleman does not motor about after dark."



Joseph Lucas "The Prince of Darkness"

1842-1903



A few Lucas quips:



The Lucas motto: "Get home before dark."



Lucas is the patent holder for the short circuit.



Lucas - Inventor of the first intermittent wiper.



Lucas - Inventor of the self-dimming headlamp.



The three-position Lucas switch--DIM, FLICKER and OFF. The other three switch settings--SMOKE, SMOLDER and IGNITE.



The Original Anti-Theft Device - Lucas Electrics.



If Lucas made guns, wars would not start



Back in the '70s, Lucas decided to diversify its product line and began manufacturing vacuum cleaners. It was the only product they offered which did not suck.





Q: Why do the British drink warm beer? A: Because Lucas makes their refrigerators.



This has been referred to as the smoke theory - when the smoke comes out its finished, cooked or done for.
LaVerne

Thanks, Laverne, for putting it all together.
I've been aware of, and a subscriber to, the theory of smoke for many yrs, but didn't realize (or remember?) that Lucas was the originator. Of course it does apply very well to all things Lucas.
I was first introduced to Lucas electrics in cars and motorcycles around 1958. I sold and serviced British motorcycles for several yrs in the 70's. Never could keep enough Lucas parts, they seemed to change things like points regularly so you needed many different ones.
I fussed with one BSA for quite a while, it would fire once, then no more, each time you cranked it. Turned out there was a poor weld between the contact button of the points and it's "arm". Couldn't break it loose, but in the energy transfer system, (no battery, competition bike) there was only enough generated voltage to fire the plug once when you had jumped on the starting lever. Second time around wasn't as fast. I think I finally diagnosed it with an ohmmeter.
A W Parker

With much appreciation. I'm still laughing as I write this. This I will print and post in my workshop.

Still :>)) John
John Brickell

But we all know that it's now reparable!!!!



P Jennings

Nigel Shiftright was once assisted by Joseph Lucas, dressed as Superman with a capital "L" on the chest. I believe Mr. Lucas' opening fraze was "Joe's my name, darkness is my game".

Her is a link to Mr Shiftright. He lives in Flapping Bonnet Lane somewhere in rural England.
http://www.bradleyrestoration.com/technical_resources/nigel-shiftright-automotive/

Another link: (Four angry cylinders)

http://www.roadandtrack.com/special-report/1949-mg-tc-four-angry-cylinders

Does anyone on the list know if the Shiftright cartoons were ever made into a book? I would love to have such a collection!

regards,

Jan

Jan Kristoffersen

Jan, Phil Frank, father of Nigel, was my partner on the 12 year restoration of a SA Tickford. We had a lot of fun with that project. Sadly when Phil got sick we sold it. If you look at some of the Nigel cartoons you'll see "Saunders", that is me! No, no book yet but we have urged Road & Track to do one.
Nigel's TC is now for sale.
Terry
Terry Sanders

Here in the frozen North, storing one's British car in an unheated garage (like mine) has its consequences.

When the smoke in my conductors gets cold, it loses it's compression resulting in a subsequent ability to conduct. And, since my wiring is original, it is less effective in holding in the smoke, and each spring I have to buy a few cannisters of original smoke (we wouldn't want any Asian knock-off, would we?).

So I have to wait 'till Lucas in Birmingham ships me fresh smoke. When it gets here, its very difficult to explain to Canada Customs what it is, and why I need it! The last lot was impounded and it took a Parlimentary Order to get it released in time for Spring.

I thought I could get around the problem by making my own, but finding Barium tri-ethyl oxydryl was difficult, and eventually found out why. It comes from a mine not far from Birmingham. So you see, Lucas has a virtual momopoly on smoke.

Oh, what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive.

Gord Clark
Rockburn, Qué.
Gordon A Clark

Gordon's correct. Cold weather seems to raise the viscosity of the smoke to such a degree thst it often refuses to flow correctly. I haven't discovered a solution for that yet. Definitley stay away from the after market smoke. I have heard the Chinese are making their smoke out of ox dung. It will render your electrical system useless...or more useless.

I found the way to get around customs Gordon is to tell them it's a refill for the English made Glade plug in air freshners.
LaVerne

It is amazing, to come up with an MG cartoon reference, and then - "Saunders" himselves is on this list!

I must say that I thoroughly enjoyed the "Dawn patrol", and I wish I would have had the possibility to tell the now passed away "father" of Nigel Shiftright how much I enjoy his creation. Slightly pompous, but a jolly nice lad, like we all may be when we are out in our "T"s enjoying the stir we create along the road.

Wing commander Shiftright and his TC also reminds me of what Antony Beevor wrote in one of his books on WW2, describing the spirit of professional officers of His Majesty's armed forces, who where considering fighting the Germans as "another bash in the regiments history against a reasonably sporting opponent".

Happily, we now live in a peaceful Europe where T-series MGs are enjoyed in every corner of this "old world"

And by the way, Messrs Lucas have announced that they do no longer claim the patent rights to darkness, although they try to seize the patent rights to sudden,unexpected darkness..

Humble regards from a Shiftright fan,

Jan
Jan Kristoffersen

Yesterday evening I thought of this thread- there was a chrome bumpered "B" heading north on US 27- with the back-up lights on ! That could be a precursor to a smoke leak! Does anyone know if you can still get bumper stickers with some of the above sayings on them? George
George Butz

George,
Not sure ...but I think the "LUCAS / Prince of Darkness" bumper sticker I have on my refrigerator in the garage came from Tripple-C?
Seems to me they had a few different ones on their site a few years back.
David Sheward

This should explain Lucas smoke
Google Lucas pacemaker(not a joke)
Ray TF2885
Ray Lee

George that’s what happens when Lucas smoke changes direction.

Bill Chasser
TD-4834
W A Chasser

Here is some of the LUCAS smoke in action. Pic courtesy of Jasper N. Cheers
Peter TD 5801


P Hehir

Haha, one of those moments I'll never forget...

Jasper
Jasper Nederhoed TD3966

While I love the various jokes about Lucas, My 1967 MGB GT has the original wiring harness. I cleaned all the connections when I restored it in 2005, and checked out the wires for any brittle areas.

It works just fine and had not given me any indication of leaking smoke so far.
Bruce Cunha

This thread was discussed between 25/02/2011 and 30/04/2019

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